NEW YEAR INTENTIONS AND QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
2018 has come and with it all the resolutions and cut backs and so on and so forth. You see a lot of people either setting or judging resolutions. At the end of the day though, we still have to carry ourselves through to the next year, we have to bring our minds and whatever thought processes we’ve gotten used to, we have to bring our bodies and whatever damage we’ve done to them and we have to bring our memories because we’re nothing without them. I've never been great at setting resolutions and honestly I've never been great at setting goals in general. I'm more of a hope for the best but don't set yourself up for failure kind of person and that's something I really want to work on! I want to be able to clearly outline my goals and ambitions and create specific plans for achieving them. Does that count as a resolution? To just set more goals?
A couple of weeks ago I spent the weekend in Virginia’s mountains with two of my friends and as we hiked up the smallest mountain we could find (I was getting sick and my ass was not prepped for a big hike), we talked and caught up and then when we got to the top, we all kind of just stopped and let each other take in the space silently and individually. After clearing our heads, we headed back and started talking about the last year and all the changes we’ve all inevitably gone through whether it’s with our relationships with others or within ourselves. Me being the over analytical person that I am, I started posing questions to them and to myself and there was something so beautiful about being completely unfiltered about our responses and having pointed questions to think about.
It got me to thinking, maybe if we stopped to ask these questions of ourselves more frequently, we’d be better equipped to make the changes we need without waiting for the first of the month, or first of the year, or birthdays, or whatever it may be that gives you a kick in the 🍑. So I’m going to share the questions I asked of my girls and myself, as well as the intentions I’m making for myself as a result.. I suggest journaling and going through these questions with yourself in the new year!
1. What were your biggest struggles in the last year?
We all immediately referenced relationships when we brought up struggles. Something we all related to was allowing people affect us negatively. My main advice and work of the last year is to not allow yourself to be anyone’s punching bag. (I personally mean this in the emotional sense, but if you’re struggling in abusive relationships please don’t hesitate to get help.) So I've focused on looking in the mirror and acknowledging if I feel okay with my own decisions and moving forward with that feeling. One quote that I always think about is Eleanor Roosevelt’s “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" (yes I was first introduced to it through Princess Diaries), so please always remind yourself that you are not inferior, and you do not consent to anyone else dumping their crazy on you. My sister, Adisada, shared this video with me, and it's been amazing!
2. What are you most proud of in the last year?
For me, I am most proud of growing out of my comfort zones. Personally it doesn’t mean that I shed my insecurities and had the confidence to do things I wouldn’t have done before, but rather that I just did the things, and let my insecurities figure themselves out along the way. I started my blog, I went back to school for my masters, and I had tough conversations with people I love. The thing is that comfort zones are always there, and as long as you’re in one, you’re not growing. So whatever it is that made you proud of yourself...keep doing more of it.
3. What are you afraid of?
Look at different areas of your life and think of what could be different, but you’ve been too hesitant to change? What ideas have you had, but been too insecure to share? So really be honest with yourself, what scares you? What is holding you back? When you identify your fears you are better equipped to tackle them than if you just allow them to loom nameless over you. This one is hard because we hate admitting that something has power over us, but it's so important. Even right now, as I'm writing this, I paused on "I'm afraid of...." without wanting to finish the sentence. But I'm here to be as transparent as possible so - I'm afraid of standing alone. I'm a very relationship based person - connecting with others is so important to me, so I've always been hesitant of being too vulnerable because of how it may affect others. Full honesty here.
4. What do you love about yourself?
We’ve talked about struggles, insecurities, and fears, but what do you really LOVE about yourself? It could be a skill, or your body, or your thoughts but you should be able to identify something positive about yourself that you can keep cultivating. Another tough one for me and I'll explain more on why when I talk about my intentions.
I'm starting the year with two intentions - to lead with positivity and to open myself up to vulnerability. I intend to bring more positivity forward for myself. I want to be more positive towards myself and my body especially. So my intention is to do things for myself because I love myself. I want to workout because I love the way it makes me feel, not because I'm mad for gaining weight. I want to rest because I need to recharge, not because I’m being lethargic. These are things I need to work on, and things that I only notice improving when I look at myself positively and take the time and energy for self care. Aside from internal things, I want just face new challenges and experiences with positivity as well!
I also want to be able to open up and be vulnerable, especially on here. It's a bit scary to allow people into your space beneath the surface, but as someone that's always seeking to connect with others, I want to make sure I'm allowing the reciprocity of the connection. For instance, I'm always reading blogs and books to see how other people have dealt with things that I can relate to (social media is great for this), but I'd love to be able to be that for someone else and share my experiences.
Okay, we got deep, now let's celebrate! Let's make more memories together! <3